When it feels like everyone else is winning and you’re just holding it together.

I bumped into a local mum earlier in the week, and we stopped for a chat.

She expressed how pleased she was for me that business was going well, that I was doing great things, and that life was good. She’s such a warm and vibrant person, and always generous in her celebration of others.

The thing is, this week has been a shit show. 

I don’t feel like I’m winning at all.

I’ve been feeling an overwhelming sense of despair at ‘failing’ at mum life, particularly for my 5 year old, who is struggling with his transition to school. Every day a new horror story lands, and every day I feel sick at the thought of dropping him off or picking him up. I’m not sure which is worse. Every day he pleads to skip school and increasingly tries to escape the confines of its walls.

I remember a former manager of mine crying her heart out one day in a meeting room over the stress of her school avoidant daughter, and it feeling so alien to me back then. Now I’m a mum of two in my mid-40s with a political background, and I see a system full of flaws.

The school years feel like a lifetime when we’re in them, but are comparatively short once we’re out and looking back. Schools are under-funded and kids are mean. I know from my work, how much of an impact those years have on people’s careers - not just in terms of the pathways they choose, but on their confidence and self-esteem.

My 7 year old loves school and I can see how the experience has begun to teach her leadership skills, how to navigate complex relationship dynamics and resolve conflict, the beginnings of career intentions, and the ability to hold fast to her beliefs and values. Granted, much of this might be down to her personality and things we talk about at home, but I feel sad my youngest isn’t having the same positive experience. As I start to offer my coaching services to younger clients on the cusp of making those early career choices, my work feels more needed than ever.

I woke up to a message from a client that said: “I hope you get the support you offer to so many women, from somewhere, while you’re weathering tricky and tiring storms yourself x” and decided to write this post, in case you feel this way too.

Remember, I’m here if you want to reach out for a chat about where you’re at juggling everything in your world. Drop me a note here.