This month, I ran a giveaway. One free 90-minute Deep Dive coaching session to celebrate the 4 year anniversary of Small Circle becoming my full-time work.
But what I received in return wasn’t what I expected.
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I bumped into a local mum earlier in the week, and we stopped for a chat.
She expressed how pleased she was for me that business was going well, and that I was doing great things, and that life was good. She’s such a warm and vibrant person, and always generous in her celebration of others.
The thing is, this week has been a shit show. I don’t feel like I’m winning at all.
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You aren’t dying of misery yet.
You’ve secured flexible hours that afford you time to do school drop off or pick up, even if the cost of that flexibility is poor boundaries. You get paid reasonably well for what you do, even if the figure hasn’t gone up as much as you’d like…
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I spoke on a panel at Melbourne Business School last week, and one of the big themes that came up was soft skills.
You know - the “people” stuff.
Things like building rapport with stakeholders, managing up, resolving conflict, listening deeply, communicating clearly, or showing leadership in tough situations…
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Want to know what sometimes happens after people come onto a coaching discovery call and realise a) how powerful coaching is and b) how much it can support them in turning their career dreams into reality?
Fear sets in. And it makes sense!
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There’s a point (maybe a few) in your career where things get a little ‘sticky’.
It can get a little sticky when the time comes to level up. Scoring that first leadership role is tough - you can’t get experience without being given a shot, and you often won’t get a shot without experience.
You might then find yourself a bit stuck…
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My friends and clients know I love a good analogy, and this one is a trusted favourite because it just makes so much sense!
You can approach decisions around career changes the same way you’d make decisions around what to have for dinner.
Seriously.
Let me explain.
Every year in January, I write my CV from scratch. A blank page.
Every year it changes, to align with who I am (or who I’m not) today.
Every year it reflects the direction I would head in, if I went back to corporate.
And every year I wonder if I could ACTUALLY get a job, if I ever decided to re-enter the traditional job-market.
I’ve just returned from a week at the beach with my partner and our four kids, aged 5 to 10 years old, and I’m shattered.
Kids are fucking whiny.
Co-parents can be a pain in the arse.
I struggle without the comfort of my routines and rituals…
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I struggled to write my last newsletter of the year, so it was late. I convinced myself it had to say something profound, for it to be memorable, or in someway shinier than the 11 that came before it this year.
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This was the point in coaching where she started to cry for the first time.
Her husband was trying to be encouraging, but to her (like many of my beautiful, smart, hardworking, kind, funny clients in a similar boat) these words were deeply hurtful.
At the crux of much of my work with clients is decision-making.
Decision-making is hard, especially when the stakes are high, all of the options are complicated, or you aren't confident you can make the right call.
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Don’t discount the value of volunteer work and outside interests in your career strategy.
I’ve seen clients make BIG career shifts off the back of the skills and experience they gained through volunteer work.
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I remember attending my first SLT meeting. I was terrified. I was the youngest in the room and one of a handful of women.
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I see a lot of tears during coaching calls. And I see such huge relief after they have been shed. Sometimes people can't understand why.
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Something my clients often talk to me about is a fear of making the wrong decision, or, a fixation with making the right one. Same same, but different. Fear or fixation, the end result is often similar - you stay stuck.
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Being a single mum is both the hardest and the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I know, wild! How can it be both? I think things are so often, both.
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This is something that comes up in coaching all. the. time. A lot of my clients have at least low-level anxiety or wobbly confidence despite being high performing and highly capable, with high standards.
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