How to move forward when confidence wobbles
I’ve felt stuck enough times to know this...
It’s rarely about a lack of ideas or direction. More often, it’s about a lack of trust in yourself.
That sticky, uncomfortable space where you know what you want. You can see the next step. But the questions creep in anyway: Can I actually do this? Do I deserve it? Am I ready?
And when that doubt lingers, something else starts to show up.
The sense that you’re operating at less than.
Less than what’s needed.
Less than what you’re capable of.
Less than what you promised yourself you’d be.
And that feeling? It feels really shitty.
Because on the outside, you’re still showing up. You’re still capable, still getting things done. But internally, there’s a quiet erosion of trust.
Over the weekend, I caught up with a former client and now a friend, and we talked about this exact feeling.
She doesn’t lack talent, options, or great ideas. But she’s not moving.
We unpacked why. And while time and energy are certainly factors, it ultimately comes down to a lack of confidence or self-trust
A new client shared with me - and put it perfectly:
“I think my reputation with myself is poor… I’m a good starter, but a poor finisher.”
That’s the bit that often sits underneath feeling stuck. Not confusion — but a wobble in self-trust. When you don’t fully trust yourself to follow through, to land things, to back yourself… of course you hesitate. Of course you second guess. Of course you feel stuck.
And then we make it worse.
We look around.
We compare.
We listen to voices that were never meant to guide us.
But here’s the truth:
Don’t compare yourself to people who have what you don’t want.
And don’t take advice from people who haven’t gotten to where you do want to go.
Because that noise pulls you further away from the only thing that actually moves you forward - your own momentum.
So, what can you do when you feel stuck? Here are 5 ways I use personally and with clients to get moving:
#1 – Get moving
When I feel stuck, I get moving. Literally. Exercise, a walk in nature, or a session on the mat doesn’t just shift your energy physically; it boosts your brain too. Movement improves blood flow and oxygenation, sparks new brain cell growth, enhances mood and focus through neurotransmitters, and helps manage stress so your thinking stays clear. Shaking up your body often shakes up your mind too, creating the clarity and momentum you need to take the next step.
#2 – The 5 Whys
One of my favourite coaching exercises for uncovering blind spots is the 5 Whys. Originally created by Toyota to solve manufacturing problems, it’s brilliant for showing how patterns like perfectionism or people-pleasing can hold you back.
Here’s how it works: start with a challenge. For example, “I haven’t applied for new jobs.” Then keep asking “why?” five times, or until the answers stop making sense. This helps you get below surface behaviours to the real reason you’re stuck.
Here's an example:
Why haven’t I applied for new jobs?
Because my CV isn’t up to date.Why isn’t your CV up to date?
Because I don’t set aside time to update it.Why don’t you set aside time?
Because I take on more work in my day job than I can handle, and end up finishing it in the evenings or weekends.Why do you take on more than you can handle?
Because I find it hard to say no.Why do you find it hard to say no?
Because I don’t want to disappoint people.
Suddenly you see that the “problem” isn’t laziness or procrastination - it’s a deeper pattern of people-pleasing and overwhelm that’s stopping you from moving forward. Once you see the root cause, you can start making small, practical changes that actually work.
#3 – Talk to yourself like a friend
I question myself gently, the way I would with a dear friend or client: What’s really going on here? This separates curiosity from judgment and helps me see the real reasons I’ve been stuck. Research backs this up: positive self-talk improves focus, concentration, and cognitive performance, while reducing anxiety and boosting confidence. Even speaking about yourself in the third person can create emotional distance, making it easier to manage negative feelings and approach challenges with clarity.
#4 – Write it down
Putting thoughts on paper helps make the invisible visible. Writing untangles your ideas, highlights patterns, and creates clarity on next steps. Journaling is a great tool for reflection — try prompts like:
“Something I’ve been avoiding is…” — brings suppressed thoughts into awareness.
“If I were really honest with myself, I’d admit that…” — helps confront internal conflict.
“A part of me feels ____, and another part feels ____.” — encourages recognition of conflicting feelings and builds self-compassion.
To-do lists help you map actionable steps, reduce overwhelm, and rebuild momentum. Written affirmations reinforce belief in yourself, reminding you of your capabilities and progress. Together, these tools turn scattered thoughts and stuck energy into a clear, actionable plan.
#5 – Engage an expert
Sometimes the fastest way to get unstuck is to bring in someone who’s seen it all before and has a clear frame of reference - like a coach or mentor who can guide you with both mindset and strategy. They help you rebuild confidence, clarify exactly what to do next, and hold you accountable so momentum isn’t lost. That’s exactly what I do with clients: helping them move forward with clarity, perspective, and the reassurance that they’re not doing it alone.
If this is hitting a nerve, you’re not alone. Smart, capable people often don’t need more ideas - they need to rebuild trust in themselves and get moving again.
Book a chat with me, and bring a topic or decision that’s been feeling sticky — we’ll get you moving.