Give networking another shot

During a recent client session, the topic of networking came up. Networking makes my client cringe, and by her own admission she usually seeks out the safety of the canapé table. The reality is, networking could really take her places. The type of work she does and nature of the industry means that networking could open doors for her.

She hates small talk.

She values authentic connection. 

She doesn’t think she is good at networking.

She finds it depleting.

She has experienced the burn of being amongst a group of people reminiscing over a shared experience that didn’t include her.

The thing is, there is absolutely no reason you have to make small talk when networking. 

You can be the person at the networking event  who doesn’t make small talk. You can be selective about what you go to. You’re more likely to find that authentic connection if you network with intent. What are you hoping to achieve? For example, if you want to meet more likeminded women, go to an event for women. When are you at your best? If you are usually a frazzled mess by the end of the day, find a breakfast event instead.

I went to a local event last year which was originally geared towards self-employed and working from home mums, but somewhere between registrations opening and the event itself, the event became a free for all and I arrived to find gaggles of women who knew each other, didn’t work, and just fancied a discount lunch at a fancy bar. Totally not what I signed up for. But then I spotted a women with a really sharp haircut. She looked like a Lego person and I told her. She had been admiring my Gorman top and we bonded over fashion and what shit sleepers baby boys were. Now we go to Pilates together twice a week and she has sent more than a few clients my way.

It’s not really networking we hate, it’s the discomfort of showing up, where we might not know people. It’s the fear of rejection or worry that we might not have anything interesting or relevant to say. It’s that feeling of awkwardness when we inadvertently hijack someone else’s conversation and are left on the sidelines waiting for someone to rescue us.

You get to choose what networking means to you and how you do it. You get to choose what you go to, who you talk to and what you talk about. You get to choose how you follow up with the people you met and what you do with those relationships.